Juan Bobo Roselló’s plan for Puerto Rico

War Against All Puerto Ricans: Revolution and Terror in America’s Colony

 
Ricky “Juan Bobo” Roselló wasted no time in announcing his master plan for Puerto Rico. In a Univisión interview yesterday, flanked by his wife and dog named Tennessee, the governor-elect opened a can of surprises for the entire world.

His energy plan is a 2,000 mile undersea gas pipeline from Texas to San Juan which would cost over $60 billion. This would “help Puerto Ricans in the long run,” but Juan Bobo did not explain how.

His tourism plan is to turn Guayama into “a world class spiritualist and recreation center” where rich North Americans can chase men, women and ghosts, then deduct the entire trip under Trump’s new tax plan.

ricki-juan-boboRicky “Juan Bobo” Roselló, with his wife and dog Tennessee

His technology plan is to partner with the Financial Control Board, and use their subpoena power on the mayor of Lajas. According to Bobo, “Mayor Irizarry is hiding an intergalactic technology. He is using the UFO airport to make himself rich.” Juan Bobo knows this, because he studied at MIT.

His political plan is to send two senators and five congressmen to Washington, D.C. and demand that Puerto Rico become the 51st state immediately. This worked for Tennessee 220 years ago, in 1796, so Bobo figures “what the hell…why not now?”

His economic development plan is to train 100,000 parrots to sing the Star Spangled Banner and Besame Mucho, then sell them at $5,000 apiece. According to Bobo, “this will generate $500 million for the island, and help to promote our Tennessee Plan.”

With plans like these, Juan Bobo Roselló will soon rival Donald Trump as the greatest entertainer in world politics.

 
For a history of the War Against All Puerto Ricans, read the book…

War Against All Puerto Ricans: Revolution and Terror in America’s ColonyBuy it Now

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4 Comments on “Juan Bobo Roselló’s plan for Puerto Rico

  1. No se donde Puerto Rico tiene la mente al eligir a Richie como gobernador. Como dijo Albizu “las elecciones (en la colonia)es la trampa…….. You find out the rest

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  2. Well, let me say this…

    The ethically and politically-prostituted main-stream-media (which includes the internet), and the faux-democratic party collaborators that colluded with Hillary at all the debates…AND… the lock-step GOP-ers all laughed at Trump.

    And guess who’s president today by popular vote AND electoral college counts?

    I’d say HE he embodies a REAL “rebel” more than some anonymous internet sniper pushing the “send” button, adjusting his hijab and then running out to the local Starbucks for some cosmic re-enforcement.

    Y eso que me ‘stoy aguantando…chico…

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  3. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Puerto Rico was & continued to be in a very tough position … don’t expect it to get any better!! Ricky ‘Juan Bobo’ … governor-elect!

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