Tito Kayak has been arrested over a dozen times. He has defaced public property, fought with policemen, and draped the Puerto Rican flag over the Statue of Liberty.
He even threatened to kill a Puerto Rican Senator who was going to “privatize” the island’s beaches. But the most daring exploit was the one that earned Tito his nickname.
HOW KAYAK GOT HIS NAME
On November 14, 2007, Tito climbed a construction crane at the Paseo Caribe project in San Juan, and STAYED THERE for a full week.
The San Juan police surrounded the crane 24 hours per day, and collected a lot of overtime.
Finally, in a daring escape, Tito rappelled down from the crane and jumped into a kayak in the water below.
He paddled furiously, reached a bridge, jumped out, and swam to shore. When police helicopters spotted him, his supporters jumped into the water. This confused the police and Tito got away…
And the legend of Tito KAYAK was born.
THE TITO KAYAK LAW
In 2010, the Commonwealth added Article 208-A to the Penal Law of Puerto Rico…also known as the “Tito Kayak Law.”
Under 208-A, obstructing any work at a construction site became a felony. The law was declared unconstitutional three years later, in Ponce Superior Court.
A ONE-MAN PROTEST MACHINE
Just this month, Kayak was arrested for raising the Puerto Rican flag over Hiram Bithorn Stadium, with 20,000 people cheering him on, during a Cultura Profética concert.
Tito is a one-man protest machine, a model of civil disobedience. If everyone in Puerto Rico behaved like Tito Kayak, the island would be independent by Christmas.
With feral instincts, a savage animal eloquence, and the derring-do of Errol Flynn, Tito has perfected the art of saying ¡Basta ya! and ¡Aquí me quedo!
In the spirit of Paul Revere, Woody Guthrie and Abbie Hoffman, Tito tells the government where they can go. He even provides them directions…with his middle finger.
For this reason, War Against All Puerto Ricans salutes Tito Kayak, and declares him a model citizen.
For a history of the War Against All Puerto Ricans, read the book…
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