Puerto Rico needs a quiet revolution…a smart revolution…where no one fires a shot and no one goes to jail, but it’s still a 100% REVOLUTION, that gets the US out of Puerto Rico.
This revolution is possible with a few propaganda techniques…
A few tactics from Rules for Radicals…
A few others from The Harder They Come and Fuenteovejuna…
And a character named Juan Bobo.
The revolutionary leader…Juan Bobo
The idea is to get the whole island to participate. It needs to be fun, a sport – where people invent “Juan Bobo adventures” every day, share “Juan Bobo stories” every night, and lie about them while playing dominoes.
Here is how Juan Bobo will do it:
JUAN BOBO FARM COOPERATIVES
Agriculture once comprised 70% of the Puerto Rican economy. Today it is less than 1%.
Juan Bobo farm cooperatives could be created – all over Puerto Rico – within one year.
They could exchange all food products through a barter system, and thereby avoid the 11.5% sales tax.
This is one of the first basic steps to building real independence.
Through the food supply.
Through local agriculture.
Juan Bobo can help to build this.
JUAN BOBO LAWSUITS
All over the island, dozens of people change their legal names to Juan Bobo.
They will then sue Monsanto for environmental damage, PREPA for illegal toxic oil, Goldman Sachs for violating the Puerto Rico constitution, Luis Fortuño for grand larceny and public corruption…dozens of lawsuits on behalf of the people of Puerto Rico.
All the lawsuits will be “Juan Bobo vs. _________.”
The newspapers will report each Juan Bobo lawsuit: JUAN BOBO SUES AGAIN!
When the first case wins big, the Juan Bobo law firm can be established.
All the Juan Bobo lawsuits will demand justice for Puerto Rico…they will capture media attention…and they can WIN.
THE CHURCH OF JUAN BOBO
If Scientology, the Jedi Church, the Church of Euthanasia, and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Pastafarians) are all “registered religions,” then why not the Church of Juan Bobo?
As a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit, the church would not have to pay taxes.
Sunday services at the Church of Juan Bobo
Every week, the Church of Juan Bobo will preach a simple gospel: that all men are created equal, we should follow the Ten Commandments, the bible does not condone slavery or colonialism…and therefore, Puerto Rico should be independent.
Every day that Puerto Rico is not independent, is another day the U.S. is violating the will of God.
This is not treason. It is religion. Therefore the FBI cannot arrest anybody.
100 Juan Bobo churches, all over the island, would create a powerful conscience in Puerto Rico…a moral force to be reckoned with.
And the weekly church donations could help to pay for the Juan Bobo lawsuits.
JUAN BOBO POLITICAL PARTY
With Juan Bobo farms, lawsuits and churches all over the island, the Juan Bobo political party can step forward.
The party would be highly de-centralized, with no central committee. Anybody can join it, and anybody can run for office.
The candidates don’t have to win…in fact, they run to lose. That way they can tell the truth, and have lots of fun.
Juan Bobo buses will criss-cross the island, all with the same image…
The candidates can say whatever they want, so long as they share one common principle: that Puerto Rico must be an independent republic…completely free of the US…not ten years from now, or one year from now, but immediately.
Independence now…not tomorrow or next week
Of course, every candidate must be legally, officially, named Juan Bobo.
JUAN BOBO REGGAETON
With Juan Bobo catching on in the popular culture, groups like Calle 13 begin to include him in their lyrics.
Perhaps even a joint appearance on their album cover.
JUAN BOBO THE ALIBI
In confronting (and disobeying) the U.S. Financial Control Board, if any odd events should begin to occur, Juan Bobo can be the alibi for the entire island.
Whenever something strange happens, people can say “don’t look at me…Juan Bobo did it!”
This is exactly what happened in Lope de Vega’s 1619 play Fuenteovejuna, where a whole town blamed “Fuenteovejuna” for a serious crime. In fact, Fuenteovejuna was the name of the town.
The play was based on real-life events in Spain…in the town of Fuenteovejuna.
JUAN BOBO WAS HERE
There are 78 mayors in Puerto Rico, 51 representantes, 27 senators, 16 executive departments, and countless divisions, agencies, bureaus, offices and services.
All of them should wake up and see the following words in front of their houses, cars, and offices:
JUAN BOBO WAS HERE
If by some strange coincidence, the members and staff of the US Financial Control Board should have a recurring flat tire, the following words should greet them:
JUAN BOBO WAS HERE