According to Dana Miró, the residents of Puerto Rico – in particular the women – are responsible for contracting the Zika virus and endangering their own children.
Ordinarily this wouldn’t mean much…except that Miró is the Director of the federal WIC program in Puerto Rico. She is responsible for the welfare and nutrition program for the entire island.
In a July 11 press conference, Miró stated that “all over Puerto Rico, women are not paying attention to Zika. They’re doing nothing to prevent it. If they did try to prevent it, we wouldn’t have to spray the island with NALED.”
Since Dana Miró is blaming Puerto Rican women for the NALED fumigation program, it is appropriate to see what “prevention” measures these women are neglecting to take.
According to the CDC, the four best ways to avoid contracting the Zika virus are:
We therefore asked Juan Bobo to create a program of “Zika compliance” for the women of Puerto Rico, which will meet with the approval of the federal WIC director, Ms. Dana Miró.
THE JUAN BOBO PROGRAM FOR ZIKA PREVENTION
Juan Bobo does not recommend moving away from Puerto Rico.
According to Bobo, “We have lived on this island too long, to be scared away by an ignorant WIC director who has lost her own self-esteem…or traded it for a federal job.”
Juan Bobo recommends the other three options.
The women of Puerto Rico can cover themselves from head to foot, with the space suit which Dustin Hoffman wore in the movie Outbreak.
Just like Dustin Hoffman
This will double as a weight-loss outfit, and a deterrent to unwanted sexual advances.
The fumigation option will also work…but only if pursued aggressively throughout the entire house.
This especially includes the kitchen, pantry and bathrooms…anywhere the mosquitoes are likely to encounter warm food or stagnant water.
Fumigating for Dana Miró, the federal WIC Director
Air conditioning will also work…but again, it must be done aggressively.
Juan Bobo recommends a 200,000 BTU industrial refrigeration unit, enough to “freeze the ‘skito the moment he walks in the door.”
200,000 BTUs should do the trick
This will raise the average electricity bill to $900 per month throughout the island…which will please the hedge funds that will soon own PREPA.
When asked if his Zika prevention program is a tad excessive, Juan Bobo responded:
“Maybe, just a little bit…but we don’t want Doña Dana to think that Puerto Rican women are not serious about Zika. Otherwise, she might cut off their food stamps.”