Governor of Puerto Rico converts the governor’s mansion into a bed n’ breakfast

War Against All Puerto Ricans: Revolution and Terror in America’s Colony


In his effort to spur the failing economy of Puerto Rico, Gov. Alejandro García Padilla announced his latest economic development project: converting La Fortaleza into a world-class bed ‘n breakfast.

The plan is in keeping with his larger program of selling the island’s coastline to U.S. billionaires, and its schools, prisons, highways, water and electricity to hedge funds from Wall Street. In fact, the island’s “Public Private Partnership Authority” will be re-located into the basement of La Fortaleza.

According to Garcia Padilla, “This will enable our patrons to eat in Five-Star splendor, then shop at bargain basement prices, all under the same roof.”

For the past three months, Garcia Padilla has invited major political figures to La Fortaleza, to explain his revolutionary concept. Just before a health care demonstration, he treated Andrew Cuomo to a “Special Sauna” in the East Wing.

Andrew Cuomo enjoyed the Special Sauna

He gave a special discount rate to Bill De Blasio, the mayor of New York, then took him for a stroll through Old San Juan.

He reassured Hillary Clinton that the governor’s mansion has been deloused, and is completely free of mosquitoes.

He even demonstrated to Pres. Obama that the Cuban sandwich originated in Arecibo, and was perfected in La Fortaleza.

The true, original Cuban sandwich

Several critics have accused Garcia Padilla of reducing his governorship to being “a headwaiter in La Fortaleza,” but the governor is adamant about his plan.

“Puerto Ricans must adapt,” he said. “And this will create many jobs for maids and butlers and chefs.”


4 Comments on “Governor of Puerto Rico converts the governor’s mansion into a bed n’ breakfast

  1. Is this even real? Wow… It’s not hard to believe since its Alejandro Garcia. Why can’t we just get nuked instead?! Where’s the dignity? Where’s the point in bending over and having the U.S. makes us so small.

    I know it may seem like a far-fetched dream, but I continue to believe our best solution is to stop relying on money, regardless of the consequences. I believe it to be our only salvation, if we manage to create a system that relies in the exchange of goods such as harvests and professional services it is possible.
    Lend me your strength so that my voive may be heard and this idea may resonate in the mind of youth.


  2. May I suggest to this enterprising but possible leech of a politician, in the spirit of his talking points and strategies, that he also create a travel agency: “Puerto Rico To Go”. 😨

    LINDA…sounds about right, doesn’t it? Menos no falta.


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